Now this is a mistake that many otherwise excellent parents make.
Its just so tempting . After all , you love your children more than anyone ( expect may be your partner ) so of course you want them to be your best friend. Ah, but your child doesn’t want you as their best friend . They may not realise it , but they really don’t . I have one friend who tells me proudly that she is her daughter’s best friend. And she is too. She’s not just saying it. She treats them as she does her best friends, and they treat her the same . She thinks it’s wonderful , but I feel sorry for her daughters. You see , they’ve already got best friends . Lots of them - they don’t need any more and they’ve got each other too. What they really need is a mother or father. But there’s only one candidate for the post and the person is busy being their best friend . So what’s the difference ? Well , you share everything with your best friend as an EQUAL. All your worries, fears , private thoughts and they do the same with you . Whereas a parent is someone you look up to- not superior to you but more mature and dependable . Some one who can protect you and look after you. Even though you may hope never to ask them to. On every day and level you can enjoy the same thing and love spending time together but you wouldn’t tell everything and you don’t want to hear everything from them .
I am not saying that you can’t have a very close relationship with your grown up kids. Indeed I hope you will be enormously close share similar interest and sense of humour , and spend lots of time together .
Our kids have to separate from us as they grow up. It’s their job . It’s not fair on them to try to keep them tied to you even if you it through friendship.
A really good adult Parent / child relationship is a truly wonderful thing , and it’s worth dozen best friends any day .
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